Bazinga!!!

Penny: So what do you say Sheldon, are we your X-men?
Sheldon: No, the X-men were named for the X in Charles Xavier. Since I am Sheldon Cooper, you will be, my C-men.

 Leonard: You are not Isaac Newton.
Sheldon: No, no, that’s true. Gravity would have been apparent to me without the apple.

Sheldon: Change is never fine, they say it is, but it's not.
Penny: Okay, did you even know the people that are moving out?
Sheldon: I never met them. That's what made them perfect. There were no awkward hellos in the halls. There's no clickety-clackety of high-heel shoes on hardwood floors. They may as well have been a family of cats just jumping around from drape to drape. And without that annoying ammonia-urine smell.

Sheldon: It's alright! They didn't take my comic books.

Sheldon: Soft Kitty, Warm Kitty, Little Ball of Fur! Happy Kitty, Sleepy Kitty, Pur, Pur, Pur!

Sheldon: (Typing) Research Journal, Entry One. I'm about to embark on one of the great challenges of my scientific career: teaching Penny physics! I'm calling it "Project Gorilla"!

Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.

Random guy: Hey Sheldon! I pulled the new Hell Boy for you. It's mind blowing!

Sheldon: Excuse me!! Spoiler Alert!!!

Random guy: I didn't spoil any thing!!

Sheldon: You told me its mind blowing. So my mind is going into it pre-blown..once the mind is pre-blown...it cannot be reblown!

Random guy: I'm sorry!

Sheldon: Said the Grinch at the Christmas!!

kimya dawson obsession

fav. songs: Roller coaster, So nice So smart, I like Giants,the Beer and Wandering Daughter...

my fav part in roller coaster: I've had this itching in my shoes since I was just a little kid
And before I had a mini van I road the Greyhound Bus
My mom would say "I hope some day you get paid for being Kimya Dawson"

the beer: He said "Don't shoot", I said "I won't, I love you, you're my friend."
I handed him my wig and shot myself in the head.
Then I stuffed a box of tissues in the hole in my skull,
I got in my Mazda and I drove to the mall.